NEW YEARN DAY 1st JANITOR 2010
To celebrate the launch of the new decade, this portrait of me has been released. It is by a man called Peggy whose name is Alex Smith.
SATURNDAY 2nd JANITOR 2010
In some neighbourhoods, dog mess on the pavement can be a problem. It appears that, round and about the shires, parsnip peelings are the main danger.
I also spotted this wonderfool sign outside a motor showroom during my walk.
SUNDAE 3rd JANITOR 2010
I love being an insomniac. I can get up late and eat a nyce meal like this salt beef platter and watch Inspector Morse and Medium and the darts.
MOONDAY 4th JANITOR 2010 AD
Whilst carrying out a burglary, I discovered this nyce motor car. It is an open-top smart car. A concept car - one of only 100 ever made and only 10 in the UK, apparently. I immediately renamed it FOOT 1, in my imagination.
TUNESDAY 5th JANITOR 2010
Today was the anniversary of the death of Grandad Foot, so I met up with Nanna Foot for a memorial din dins. A crayfish cocktail commences the tribute to my fallen ancestor.
Some ice in my garden that originates from snow that fell on 18th Decadence. Of course, new snow was just about to fall upon it.
WRENSDAY 6th JANITOR 2010
Wasn't it nippy out today?
THIRSTY 7th JANITOR 2010
An important feedback form I sent to my insurers.
FLYDAY 8th JANITOR 2010
I have a new television box in my house. It is black and white and has just four knobs, in no way anticipating further channels. This is the future of TV.
SATURNDAY 9th JANITOR 2010
A nyce supper I cooked, which included dumplings and game stew and potato mash.
SUNDAE 10th JANITOR 2010
Some lovely snowmen I spotted. I like the one in the middle. He looks like the Buddha. The one on the right could be a snow lady.
MOONDAY 11th JANITOR 2010
Macaroni cheese souffle.
TUNESDAY 12th JANITOR 2010
A little while ago, I spied this partial eclipse of yonder Earth moon. The Moon was eclipsed by Basildon.
WRENSDAY 13th JANITOR 2010
After our show, comedian Patrick Monahan and I had a Burger King kiddies' meal. It is goode. Ye get a burger and apple fries and milk and a special toy.
The toy is a motorbike, ridden by a fox-wolf called Mike. It has springs in it and can go for miles and he can do wheelies, as well.
THIRSTY 14th JANITOR 2010
It's not every day you see this! I promise you that this footo is in no way doctored.
After my show, with Connoisseur Jamie and Connoisseur Michael.
FLYDAY 15th JANITOR 2010
In a reminder of the transience of life, the beautiful snowmen are dead (execution by decapitation).
SATURNDAY 16th JANITOR 2010
In an apocalyptic scene, the snowmen's corpses rot upon the sod.
SUNDAE 17th JANITOR 2010
I dart.
MOANDAY 18th JANITOR 2010
After a show, late at knight, I dropped in to my cousin's for bed sleep. She had preapred for me this midnight platter. She can easily afford grapes and ham and that, as she is a member of the chattering middle classes.
TUNESDAY 19th JANITOR 2010
Today, I was appointed chief engine driver upon the Royal Train.
WRENSDAY 20th JANITOR 2010
A man I met in the audience of my show at the 99 Club, Leicester Square. His name is called Neil. In his imagination, he is a hero gay fireman. In reality, Neil is a teacher of children from Plymouth.
THIRSTY 21st JANITOR 2010
A nyce artistic shot from my airship window of three power stations in the north / mudlands of England.
FLYDAY 22nd JANITOR 2010
I enjoy a banquet in Glasgow. Above are some of the guests.
Not everyone was satisfied with the food, as illustrated by the faces of some of the persons below:
SATURNDAY 23rd JANITOR 2010
The exotique sight of an Emirates jet at Glasgow Airfield. There is something very glamorous about the idea of flying from Glasgow to Dubai.
SUNDAE 24th JANITOR 2010
This shoe box, cloth and shoe is a cake! Unbelievable.
MOONDAY 25th JANITOR 2010
After my show, I popped in to my friend Jessica's house. She gave me a salade with an opium dressing. which drove me crazy.
TUNESDAY 26th JANITOR 2010
The beauty of Swansea - the view from my 'otel bedroom window.
I arrive at my first show of the knight. Everything is all unusual in Wales. They have their own language and call a prifysgol a "university" and they are like the English, except more friendly.
WRENSDAY 27th JANITOR 2010
After my second show with Silly Simon of Swan Sea, Silly Stefan of Swan Sea and Naughty Chris of Swan Sea. I appear to be wearing a warlock's hat. This in an optical illusion.
THIRSTY 28th JANITOR 2010
I popped into Jessica's house again - this thyme for an amphetamine quiche with laudanum salade.
FLYDAY 29th JANITOR 2010
Possibly the world's most beautiful branch of Holland and Barrett. It is in Swan Sea.
SATURNDAY 30th JANITOR 2010
A tragique sign upon a notice bored in my village in the shires.
SUNDAE 31st JANITOR 2010
A behind-the-scenes glimpse of the glamour and excitement of a Footcast recording / cakes session. In this Footo, I attempt to reach Claudia Zzz's breast, but fail.
MOONDAY 1st FABRUARY! 2010
A massive peace of cheese for my luncheon. The scale of it can be discerned by comparison with the big kiwi fruit.
TUNESDAY 2nd FABRUARY! 2010
In the dressing room of a comedy club. There are actually an infinite nombre of Paul Foots inside the mirroir.
WRENSDAY 3rd FABRUARY! 2010
I bought some sweets for my dinner after a show. The sweets on the right are described as lances, but they are more like laces. They in no way resemble a mediaeval weapon.
THIRSTY 4th FABRUARY! 2010
Today, I was at Heathrow Aerodrome, taking a flight to Manchester - the world's most pointless but enjoyable flight. The craft cruises for seven minutes, the whole flight takes thirty. You spend longer waiting on the apron to take off than in the air. Overall, the journey is slightly slower than walking. There are a lots of rows at the moment about whether the historic village of Sipson should be demolished to make way for a third runway at LHR. If the new runway is even half as beautiful as the 27R runway behind me, I think the demolition would be well justified.
FLYDAY 5th FABRUARY! 2010
After my show in Nelson, I go up into the roof of the theatre, steadied by naughty Chris, the soundboy.
Chris looks on, weeping, as I disappear forever.
SATURNDAY 6th FABRUARY! 2010
I relax for a picnique at the 99 Club, London. I feel a bit disorientated, having jetted in that very afternoon.
SUNDAE 7th FABRUARY! 2010
I have jetted back up North! With silly Neil and funny John, after my show in Manchester.
MOANDAY 8th FABRUARY! 2010
I enjoy a breakfast pizza, with sausage, bacon, black pudding, prawns, lamb, limb, cheese and fried egg on it.
At my show, I met up with my comedian friend Rhys Jones - a sort of Griff Rhys Jones, except without the Griff.
TUNESDAY 9th FABRUARY! 2010
Today was the occasion of the (delayed) Christmas party of the 99 Club. Here, many of its regular comedians and also the funny administrative staff can be viewed, tucking into a Mexican meal. The man in the tie is the chairman of the 99 Club. The other man in the tie is the Life President of the Guild of Paul Foot Connoisseurs. It was a lavish affair. I had five puddings!
As she was taking the previous Footo, beautiful and funny Roisin Conaty could not be in it, so she has her own special one. Her name is Irish and translates as Rose and Crown Public House - Food Served All Day - Car Park at Rear.
WRENSDAY 10th FABRUARY! 2010
After my show, I popped into Bugger King for my secret weekly treat. This Footo is taken by fellow comedian and friend and human Patrick Monahan.
THIRSTY 11th FABRUARY! 2010
A reminder of my recent trip to Wales. This is perhaps the most beautiful and posh and moderne bus in the world.
FLYDAY 12th FABRUARY! 2010
Tonight, I performed in the Liverpool St environs and took this artistic shot of the Gherkin. It should really be called the cucumber, as the building is not pickled, and a cucmber has the same shape as a gherkin - the two objects being of the same fabric.
I got home to find the minimum amount of snow had fallen that still counts as snow fall. In fact, the amount of snow that has fallen lately has fallen. It used to fall in one fell swoop.
SATURNDAY 13th FABRUARY! 2010
Nasty, bully boy funny 99 Club host Matt Trudge stole my evening picnic, when I arrived for my shows.
SUNDAE 14th FABRUARY! 2010
A truffle omelette for my din-dins.
MOANDAY 15th FABRUARY! 2010
Tonight, before my show at Old Grope, there was a meeting of the senior members of the Bois Next Door improv group Supper Club. From left to right: Charlie of the White Tie, Supper Club President; President Mr Paul Foot, Supper Club Vice-President and dis-honorary member of the Bois Next Door; Handsome Tom of the Purple Tie, Supper Club Senior Events Executive.
On the way homo, I bumped into Connoisseur John down the tubes.
TUNESDAY 16th FABRUARY! 2010
Today, I ate a mathematically-significant colly flower, shaped like a fractal.
The vegetable is identical at all scales of magnification, in common with all fractals.
WRENSDAY 17th FABRUARY! 2010
Today, I bought two pair of identical shoe. Each pair comes with a little bag containing a label and a pencil with golden lead!
THIRSTY 18th FABRUARY! 2010
One of my prized possessions: my one-of-a-kind custom-made Lionel Blair wallet, signed by Lionel with the motif: "Paul Foot - He Can Fork Off"
FLYDAY 19th FABRUARY! 2010
Today, I made some little sachets of moth repellants for my wardrobe. Each one contains a deadly combination of cloves, peppercorns, ginger and thyme. The little rotters won't know what hit them.
SATURNDAY 20th FABRUARY! 2010
Relaxing between shows, with Connoisseur Hugh, Connoisseur Henry and Connoisseur Jonathan.
SUNDAE 21st FABRUARY! 2010
My friend Claudia Zzz gets stroppy and destroys an ornament.
MOANDAY 22nd FABRUARY! 2010
I take over the controls of an airship.
TUNESDAY 23rd FABRUARY! 2010
I relax with a hardly boiled egg in my camel egg cup.
WRENSDAY 24th FABRUARY! 2010
I had some legal documents to sign that required witnessing by a person of sound mind aged over 18. This gentleman called William fitted the bill as he was 18 years and 6 days old. This was his first official legal act as a man of the world.
THIRSTY 25th FABRUARY! 2010
I made these dumplings for my din-dins.
FLYDAY 26th FABRUARY! 2010
Tonight, I performed at a nyce plaice called Totton in Southamptonshire. However, I forgot to take any Footos of the occasion so, instead, here is a flash-forward to the events of Sundae knight. Here I am in a restuarant in Bruxelles, enjoying roasted cuckoo.
As it is Nanna Foot's 91st birthing day, the nyce Belgian waiters in the delicious Belga Queen restaurant bring her this luxury pudding with fire combing out of it and sing "Happy Birthing Day to You."
SATURNDAY 27th FABRUARY! 2010
With Connoisseur Ben from America. Above us can be seen a lovely convection heater.
With some funny peoples between shows.
SUNDAE 28th FABRUARY! 2010
My friend Connoisseur Death with Nanna Foot on the Eurostar to Bruxelles. As it was Nanna's 91st birthing day, the kind Eurostar staffed forced us to sit in the Thirst Class seats and eat nyce food and drink champagne until we were three sheets in the wind. I cannot speak highly enough of the Eurostar staff, both at Ebbsfleet (a brand new station near Dartford, used exclusively by me and my family) and aboard the Eurostar luxury rolling stock.
With Betty on the Eurostar. Betty has known Nanna Foot for 64 year.
Nanna Foot and Betty on the Bruxelles tram system.
Nanna Foot collapses on the 'otel bed, overwhelmed by birthing day excitement, champagne, gin, wine and the Bruxelles air.
MOANDAY 1st MARSH 2010
My friend Connoisseur Death in front of the Atomium in Bruxelles.
I cling on for dear life to the 100 metre-high structure of doom.
TUNESDAY 2nd MARSH 2010
In a Footo from yesterday, I give an interview to Belgian TV.
The four of us had a drink and a luncheon in the panoramic restaurant at the top of the Atomium.
WRENSDAY 3rd MARSH 2010
After a show, I take command of Pixscape Productions and give instructions to fellow students of Westminster Université, such as Jim and Connoisseur Crowe (insert).
THIRSTY 4th MARSH 2010
After my show, with some funny peoples from Old Zealand and other plaices.
A man from Old Zealand with my friend Jack.
FLYDAY 5th MARSH 2010
After my Secret Connoisseurs' Show, with Connoisseur Antony and Connoisseur Abby and Connoisseur Lucy.
SATURNDAY 6th MARSH 2010
After my shows at the Wheatsheaf 99 Club, with Connoisseur Shetal Patel.
I relax after my shows with host Matt Rudge, which sounds like Matt Trudge; thus I call him Trudge.
SUNDAE 7th MARSH 2010
In the early hours, I dined at a brand new restaurant, owned by Mustafa. I was one of the first ever diners and had 'Chicken Temple.' To my left, ye can see the arm of Trudge, whom joined me, along with Dan and Connoisseur Shetal and Connoisseur Shetal's cousin.
MOANDAY 8th MARSH 2010
A regular audience man whom combs to Old Rope every week.
Also at Old Rope, I spotted Handsome Connoisseur Johnny Robson. I am considering creating a special page on my site, specifically for him and other sax objects.
TUNESDAY 9th MARSH 2010
In the early hours, I enjoyed breakfast in Smithfields Meat Market café, with Rick from America (he looks and sounds identical to Elvis Parsley) and Mike from England (behind the camera).
WRENSDAY 10th MARSH 2010
A funny sign I saw down the tubes. I wonder what it means. I hope it does not apply to me.
THIRSTY 11th MARSH 2010
After a show with Australian funny person Tyson Boyce.
FLYDAY 12th MARSH 2010
A highly artistic shot, that probably should win an award. It is at Picalilli Circus. I can be faintly discerned on the right.
SATURNDAY 13th MARSH 2010
My first of three (three) dinners, consumed in one sitting.
SUNDAE 14th MARSH 2010
There's a lot of unhappiness in the world and it's not in my house, so I decided to relax with half an avocado with oil and vinegar and pink peppercorns.
MOANDAY 15th MARSH 2010
I had an important meeting with the board of Pixscape Productions at Harrow-on-the-Hall. They are making a documentary about my life and work. I pay them in gold coins. As ye can see, greedy Connoisseur Crowe has removed the gold foil from his and is preparing to stuff his fat face with expensive chocolate.
TUNESDAY 16th MARSH 2010
After my show, whilst watching Master Chef, I prepared a top recipe of my own to rival those of the contestants: jacket and tie potato topped with babbage, onion, garlic and turnip.
WRENSDAY 17th MARSH 2010
I created a chicken pie, with my own pastry.
Details of the chicken and leek pie.
THIRSTY 18th MARSH 2010
After my show at the BBC Club.
FLYDAY 19th MARSH 2010
Thyme for an egg in my camel egg cup.
SATURNDAY 20th MARSH 2010
With a man called Connoisseur Kieren and also Connoisseur Pat (a fledgling stage humourist himself), after one of my three shows of the evensong.
SUNDAE 21st MARSH 2010
I prepare a salmon and coconut and lemon pie.
MOANDAY 22nd MARSH 2010 AD
A snack.
TUNESDAY 23rd MARSH 2010 AD
A nyce bag made of plastic bags that an anonymouse human sent to me by Royal Mule.
WRENSDAY 24th MARSH 2010
I eat my din-dins, in the style of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.
THIRSTY 25th MARSH 2010
A self-decorated non-religious gingerbread egg.
FLYDAY 26th MARSH 2010
With Petter and Erik from Norway, after a show.
SATURNDAY 27th MARSH 2010
My vegan friend comedy Crispin visited for a weekend of Inpector Morse, Medium and homous.
SUNDAE 28th MARSH 2010
We enjoy a grapefruit, accompanied by grapefruit liqueur.
MOANDAY 29th MARSH 2010
With beautiful Rosa.
TUNESDAY 30th MARSH 2010
After Old Rope, with Jack, whom is an audience member and fellow artist.
WRENSDAY 31st MARSH 2010
I spy my friend Patrick Monahan at the Storm nightclub.
APRICOT FOOLS' DAY 2010 AD
After a show, with a gentleperson of Belfast.
FLYDAY 2nd APRICOT 2010 AD
With a new comedian, called Darren, whom is a giant.
SATURNDAY 3rd APRICOT 2010 AD
With Arnold, my comedy father. He was the first human to ever introduce me to a stage.
SUNDAE 4th APRICOT 2010 AD
After my shows, I enjoy a corned beef pie with egg in a fashionable Soho dive.
MOANDAY 5th APRICOT 2010
Today I was ill with the common cold, so I cheered myself up with this Footo from saturnday with an attractive gentlelady and handsome man about town.
TUNESDAY 6th APRICOT 2010
A gift from my mother for Easter. It expired 4 years ago.
WRENSDAY 7th APRICOT 2010
With my friend Patrick monahan after a show in a posh restaurant called McDonalds.
Patrick is attacked by a McDragon monster he received with his din dins.
THIRSTY 8th APRICOT 2010
A magpie spotted at Amersham Steam Railway Station, out in zone 9, in the shires.
FLYDAY 9th APRICOT 2010
In St James' Park, on my way to an engagement.
The same shot, except without me and better exposed. This Footo should probably win an award.
SATURNDAY 10th APRICOT 2010
At the 99 Club, with some audiences and funny comedian Diane Morgan (pictured)
SUNDAE 11th APRICOT 2010
At a show in Brighton, I encountered this singing, talking and saxophone-playing vacuum cleaner.
MOANDAY 12th APRICOT 2010
A meeting in Brighton of the Supper Club. In the middle is Charlie, whom is a homosexual.
TUNESDAY 13th APRICOT 2010
Parts of the audience of my Secret Show.
WRENSDAY 14th APRICOT 2010 AD
Tea at the Dorchester with my friend Noel. He is eating a basil macaroon.
THIRSTY 15th APRICOT 2010 AD
An incredible Footo! It's not often you see this - maybe once every 100 years! Also, towards the bottom of the screen you can see an announcement about a volcano, which is much more common.
FLYDAY 16th APRICOT 2010 AD
I was supposed to be performing tonight in Copenhagen; but, due to the volcano of danger, found myself in Croydon instead - in a situation not unlike one of my jokes. The sign at the top says that ID badges must be worn. I was not wearing mine. Luckily, it was an emergency.
SATURNDAY 17th APRICOT 2010
Another Footo from the archives of homosexual Charles T Gayville (President of the Bois Next Door Supper Club) of Brighton. Fot the avoidance of doubt, this is not a joke. Charlie is a genuine homosexual.
SUNDAE 18th APRICOT 2010 AD
My friends Reese (sick) Jones and Tom Rosenthal, in front of the beautiful Aberdeen Angus Steakhearse in Picalilli Circus.
MOONDAY 19th APRICOT 2010 AD
With an handsome gentleman comedian from the North, called Ben.
TUNESDAY 20th APRICOT 2010 AD
A crack (pot) team from Crowe Productions film me doing some comedy. Here ye can see Robbie, who is a child; Connoisseur Crowe; and Lewis.
WRENSDAY 21st APRICOT 2010 AD
I visited a Prussian restaurant in London, owned by a member of the Romford mafia, pictured here with Cheryl Blair and me (pictured).
A traditionale Russian pudding.
THIRSTY 22nd APRICOT 2010 AD
I go to Harrow-on-the-Hall to visit Pixscape Productions.
I dine with my friends Tom Williams and Victoria Williams (not married to me)
During the Crime Ministerial debate, I feed Gordon Clown a fried potato.
FLYDAY 23rd APRICOT 2010 AD
Outide the wonderfool Arts Centre at which I performed in front of the delighful and delicious people of Loddon, Norfolkshire. I only accepted the gig, as I misread Loddon for London. I am glad about my erreur.
SATRUNDAY 24th APRICOT 2010 AD
At one of my shows of the knight, with a nyce comedian whose name I have forgotten, but whom I love.
THE BIRTHDAY OF ELLA FITZGERALD, 2010 AD
I look very concerned. There can only be one explanation: I am in Birmingham.
I performed this evensong in a pit theatre in Machynlleth, which is somewhere in Whales (change at Birmingham and remain on the train for around fourteen hours).
MOONDAY 26th APRICOT 2010 AD
The view from my Bed and Breakfast bedroom window, just before I put my hosts through an Ancient Egyptian-based nightmare.
I arranged a business meeting with a fellow businessman. I chose the arbitrary meeting point of 56 Harley St., London Towne.
TUNESDAY 27th APRICOT 2010 AD
I was back in Whales for a show in Swansea and met this man called Sean Knox, whom is a Welsh businessman.
WRENSDAY 28th APRICOT 2010 AD
After my show, with connoisseurs.
THIRSTY 29th APRICOT 2010 AD
I return homo to a show in London Town on the steam train. This is my din dins made by the travelling chef. The newspaper in the background gives a sense of a businessman on the move.
FLYDAY 30th APRICOT 2010 AD
I used an iphone satellite machine to try to get to Leeds. Unfortunately it gave me walking directions, so it took me a day to get there.
Upon arriving at the outskirts of Leeds, I was escorted to my venue by this three-wheeler, with a big sign on it with my name on. This really happened. I am not joking.
SATURNDAY 1st MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
With comedians
Bobby Carroll, Mark Simmons and Nick Helm at the Camden Crawl.
SUNDAI 2nd MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
Today, I forgot to take
any Footos of Nottingham, so I glanced back in my mind to these two men called Brendan and Stuart-Kurt whom organised
yesterday's show. My original plan with this Footo was to swap their heads around, but it proved impossible because of
Brendan's short neck and gay features.
MOANDAY 3rd MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
I appear on a big stage
TUNESDAY 4th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
I perform live admin. There is a surprising amount of admin in comedy and an unsurprising lack of comedy in
admin.
WRENSDAY 5th MAYONNAISE 2010
AD
I stand in front of a big olde ship, prior to a show in
London Towne.
THIRSTY 6th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
With some nyce, friendly men in
Felixstowe, Suffolkshire.
FLYDAY 7th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
This lady is relaxing with tea bags upon
her eyes. I am proud to admit that I am closely related to this woman.
SATURNDAY 8th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
A Black and White Footo that shows
me prior to a show, with comedians Robert White and Stuart Black.
SUNDAI 9th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
This cow is standing on top of a building. Luckily, she
is not a real cow. This is another of my Footos that ought really to win an award. The lighting and composition are
excellent.
MOANDAY 10th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
This poorly focused shot shows Nanna Foot enjoying a pub
lunch with me. My din dins is in the foreground and is a massive pastry pie.
TUNESDAY 11th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
These crew members from Pixscape Productions filmed my Secret Show tonight. I like all of
them. They are all my favourite.
WRENSDAY 12th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
I am in the picturesque village of Brecon, Wales, England for a show in an arts
centre.
THIRSTY 13th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
After a show in Whales, with a man called Connoisseur Nathan. I
am in my guise as Penny and am accompanied by Jack Cullen, my puppet whom speaks to me about his experiences of racism,
helping humankind to confront issues.
FLYDAY 14th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
My din dins of a mushroom and limb of lamb pastry pie, handmade by a Welsh expert.
SATURNDAY 15th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
 This Footo looks like I am in a botanical gardens. In fact, I am outside a futuristique office building in
the City of London, near a show that I performed at.
SUNDAI 16th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
 With J Domet, at my Footcast recording, with some pricey foods from Waitrose.
MOANDAY 17th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
 A remembrance of my thyme in Whales, with an ex-farmer called Connoisseur Sion, whom spells his name all
incorrectly.
TUNESDAY 18th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
A picnique I enjoyed, courtesy of the Sun Newspaper, accompanied by my parrot. Prior to this Footo, I had
been filming some piracy-based video.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/advertisement_feature/oasis/2980512/Lunchbox-Laffs-Paul-Foot.html
WRENSDAY 19th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
 Next to a big beast
THIRSTY 20th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
 I relax during an interchange at Queenstown Battersea Road Station in London Towne. I like it here. It is
in the middle of London, but at the same thyme in the middle of nowhere. I would recommend it as a destination for a day
excursion.
FLYDAY 21st MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
 With my friend and fellow comedian Vossy, after a show.
SATURNDAY 22nd MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
 With a man called Gerard whom is a poet and a rat.
SUNDAI 23rd MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
One of my favourite snacks are these crispy oven-baked crickets from Fortnum and Mason.
MOANDAY 24th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
With Phil Nichol, after a show in
York
TUNESDAY 25th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
With Buddha (The)
WRENSDAY 26th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
With T Lock, prior to a flower
banquet; which, this year, defied convention, and did not feature flowers.
THIRSTY 27th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
A memory of yesterday, with my mother, prior to the
flower banquet - a day on which I also saw a van!
FLYDAY 28th MAYONNAISE 2010
AD
Going homo, after a show, aboard an empty Chiltern
Clubman steam railway train.
SATURNDAY 29th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
After my second show, eating Arabian din dins, with Connoisseur Sion from Wales.
SUNDAI 30th MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
My supper
MOANDAY 31st MAYONNAISE 2010 AD
Pervert David Tuck spent a day with me
photographing me for a photoshoot
My puppet, Jack Cullen, was delighted to
pose for his first ever photoshoot
TUNESDAY 1st JUNIPER 2010 AD
The aeroplane that flew me to Denmark
With Martin, Kasper and Rubens - comedians of Danmark
With Simon and Tomas - more comedians of Danmark
THIRSTY 3rd JUNIPER 2010 AD
My publicity poster at the theatre at which I performed in Aarhus, Denmarks
My bedroom at Aarhus' finest 'otel
The other end of my massive room
My bathroom
FLYDAY 4th JUNIPER 2010 AD
The garden at Aarhus Aerodrome. Airports do not normally have gardens
I am in the capital city of Danmark
SATURNDAY 5th JUNIPER 2010 AD
Before my show in Hay-on-Wye, with a nyce waitress and a pudding guard called
Rory
SUNDAI 6th JUNIPER 2010 AD
I spot a miniature Eiffel Tower - in a small town in Greece!
MOANDAY 7th JUNIPER 2010 AD
I perform in an ancient ampitheatre
TUNESDAY 8th JUNIPER 2010 AD
On holly day in Greece, amidst natures
WRENSDAY 9th JUNIPER 2010 AD
My brother and I arrive at one of the top ten beaches in the known universe
THIRSTY 10th JUNIPER 2010 AD
At the Arabian Kitchen in Kalamata with Aneta, whom is a nyce lady from Poland
FLYDAY 11th JUNIPER 2010 AD
I run along the original running track of the Olympic Games in Olympia, Greece,
Europe
I complete the race. The track and stadium were built 2.5 millennia ago
SATURNDAY 12th JUNIPER 2010 AD
My brother, Ralph, dressed as a waiter, which is his job in Greece
SUNDAI 13th JUNIPER 2010 AD
In my 'otel room, with Jack
MOANDAY 14th JUNIPER 2010 AD
Next to a work of art in Kingston-upon-thames, prior to a show
TUNESDAY 15th JUNIPER 2010 AD
I forgot to Footograph my Secret Show; so, instead, here is a picture of me with
some twelve thousand-year-old works of Greek arts
WRENSDAY 16th JUNIPER 2010 AD
THIRSTY 17th JUNIPER 2010 AD
My recording of the Isle of the Dead by Rachmaninov. I
am using this piece in my Edinburgh show.
FLYDAY 18th JUNIPER 2010 AD
An archive Footo of me eating a snack in
Greece.
SATURNDAY 19th JUNIPER 2010 AD
At the Eurostar Station (London St Pancreas),
aboard the High Speed train to the garden of England.
SUNDAI 20th JUNIPER 2010 AD
MOANDAY 21st JUNIPER 2010 AD
On holly day in Aunty Wendy and Uncle Mike's garden, Norfolkshire.
TUNESDAY 22nd JUNIPER 2010 AD
Aunty Wendy's sewing machine. Two golliwogs are about to be transformed - one to be dressed like me, the other as the Hades-based boatman of Greek mythology.
WRENSDAY 23rd JUNIPER 2010 AD
A cauliflower cheese I made with whipped egg white and dill on top.
THIRSTY 24th JUNIPER 2010 AD
A Footo of me with the world in my grasp.
FLYDAY 25th JUNIPER 2010 AD
A relaxing evening with Inspector Morse and a dish of strawberries in evaporated milk.
SATURNDAY 26th JUNIPER 2010 AD
A rainbow spotted on my bedroom ceiling during a reverie.
SUNDAI 27th JUNIPER 2010 AD
Another of my cauliflower creations. I attempt to get into the Footo, but the cauliflower is the real star.
MOANDAY 28th JUNIPER 2010 AD
Jumbo Jest.
TUNESDAY 29th JUNIPER 2010 AD
A very unusual sight.
WRENSDAY 30th JUNIPER 2010 AD
I was at Whore's Guards in London Towne. I was too nervous to take a footo of myself with the guard in the background, in case he lanced me.
| 
